Of all the places to sleep, this one REALLY sucks...

John Smedley Spotted Playing World Of Warcraft

The Last Supper

Well, I had my 'leaving do' with my old team from T-Mobile last night. A good time was had by all I think, and the food at my favourite restaurant (Da Vincis in Chester-le-Street, respect is due) was as fabulous as ever.

It was really nice seeing them all again (most came, with the unfortunate exception of one or two who sadly couldn't make it) and it brought home to me that I've left some very good people behind there. However, I know that almost without exception they envy my freedom, however difficult and problematic the reality of it is.

If any of you are reading this, guys; I miss you, and think of you often. I swear to return to rescue you all if I suddenly come into a large amount of cash. Spare a thought for the absent jester should fortune smile on you, as well! Hopefully I'll see you all again very soon. Until then, I'm only an email away.

"Meh, it'll hold, this'll just take a minute..."

Disgruntled worker at printing company, or business suicide? Vote now!

T-Mobile UK & SITEL = Customer Service Joke

How I Feel About the 2008 UK Budget

'Pimp My Ride' - Sunderland Edition

"How man, divvn't get in a rajj. He said he wanted it git chrome 'n' that. It'll dee."

Bush vs. 'Interrogation Techniques'

(reproduced from AOL News)

"US president George Bush is to veto legislation that would have barred the CIA from using waterboarding, a technique that simulates drowning, and other harsh interrogation methods on terror suspects.

Mr Bush said the Bill would harm the government's ability to prevent future terror attacks, but supporters of the legislation argue that it preserves America's right to collect critical intelligence while boosting the country's moral standing abroad.

"The Bill would take away one of the most valuable tools on the war on terror, the CIA programme to detain and question key terrorist leaders and operatives," deputy White House press secretary Tony Fratto said.

The Bill would restrict the CIA to using only the 19 interrogation techniques listed in the Army Field Manual.

The legislation would bar the CIA from using waterboarding, sensory deprivation or other coercive methods to break a prisoner who was refusing to answer questions.
The practices were banned by the military in 2006, but the president wants the harsh interrogation methods to be a part of the CIA's toolbox.

Backers of the legislation, which cleared the House of Representatives in December and won Senate approval last month, say the interrogation methods used by the military are sufficient.
White House spokeswoman Dana Perino denied in a briefing that Mr Bush's veto would empower the CIA to torture.

She said the Army Field Manual "is very good guidance for young soldiers who are out on the field who might capture somebody out on the battlefield, but it is not something that should apply to a terrorist interrogation programme that is run by the CIA".

But Democratic Senator Edward Kennedy said in a statement: "President Bush's veto will be one of the most shameful acts of his presidency. Unless Congress overrides the veto, it will go down in history as a flagrant insult to the rule of law and a serious stain on the good name of America in the eyes of the world."

Jemmy The Cat

(warning : some strong language... no, really, I ain't f*ck*ing joking)

Call Of Duty - Women's Version

SOE Mutant Krayt Elite Boss (blatant in-joke)

WARNING - An extremely dangerous beast has been spotted lurking around the graveyard recently. Please note that we're not referring to the Krayt Graveyard - we're referring to the current state of the official euro-chimaera server after the NGE.

You are warned not to approach this very dangerous and ravenous beast, known as the Mutant SOE Krayt Elite Boss. It's many times higher than you, and will often rub this in your face.

It can be recognised by the hideous mutations it's been subject to by SOE, namely that it has John Smedley's head and a previously unknown growth near it's anus. This growth has subsequently been identified as a greater spotted shitworm, also known as Julio Torres. This growth seems to have been attached to the Smedley Mutant's ass for some time, until they almost seem like one purely functional living organism of propaganda.

They feed on the unwary players they stumble on from time to time, but according to imperial survey reports this creature is in danger of extinction as it's natural food supply is dwindling very low indeed. It's speculated that it'll have to migrate to a new area very soon to avoid dying out.

DNA profiling has recently been completed by dissecting it's droppings (for example, Garva) and this had led to a greater understanding of the nature of how power can corrupt living tissue. The SOE Mutant Krayt DNA has far too many threads, and is therefore somewhat unstable. When enraged, or fed further ideas by focus groups, cellular disruption occurs which manifests in the form of 'new iconic publishes'.

We advise all nearby players or observers to clear the area if they believe that this cellular disruption is about to happen. Failure to do so could lead to psychological effects not limited to; disillusion, depression, inexplicable rage, feelings of deep loss, disappointment, and suicidal tendencies.

Travellers and players are advised NOT TO APPROACH this dangerous animal if at all possible and never, EVER, feed it money.