DEEPSEA'S MUSINGS

The Acid Sadness Of The Lonely

2009-11-17T23:13:00.002Z

... is how my poor little blog must be feeling. Abandoned and neglected for cheap and easy Facebook thrills.

How could I? Well, probably ease of login and appreciable traffic and comments, to be honest.

Note to self - update blog more often. And use cool pictures too.

2009-05-05T20:45:00.001+01:00

'Inc LM'

2009-04-18T20:47:00.003+01:00

WARNING - THIS IS A SHAMELESS WORLD OF WARCRAFT 'IN JOKE'

Don't feel bad if you don't get it.

A view from the High Level Bridge, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne

2009-03-15T23:08:00.002Z

The view I get every day walking to work.

New Job

2009-03-15T22:56:00.002Z

Yes, it's been a while since I've posted here. No, I won't leave it as long next time.

Started my new job working for the Care Quality Commission last week (the new regulator for social care services in the UK). It's interesting work, although there's obviously a lot to take in and it's very early days.

It's nice to be able to put down some proper roots and get my teeth into a role without worrying when it'll end. It's only with the agency for 12 weeks, moving to permanent right after. I've been advised that this isn't even some kind of probation, it's simply the arrangement that the deal was done under. I'm not complaining, as the weekly pay of the agency works better for me in this 'pull out of the financial nosedive' period I'm currently in.

It's a lovely office building, the people seem really nice and the pay and benefits are more than decent. It's also very easy to get to by bus, and the fact that I can commute under my own steam has obviously delighted Sharon as she no longer has to come and pick me up or take me in anymore.

I'll try to ensure that I update this more regularly. Damn Facebook for diverting me from my one true expressive stream!

2009-01-19T21:19:00.001Z

2009-01-15T22:54:00.002Z

It's been a while since I last updated - shame on me. More soon :)

Xivier rocks

2008-12-08T23:14:00.001Z

Random WoW Screenshots

2008-12-06T00:19:00.005Z

Drunk at New Year's Eve (2007 I think?)

Sunrise over Menethil.

Me (as my main, level 70 Paladin 'Tylk') in my very own flying machine over Shattrath. I was among the first to get this on the Emerald Dream server, I think - didn't see any others around for days.

2008-11-30T20:32:00.001Z

2008-11-12T21:02:00.000Z

08AMA VICTORY!

2008-11-05T20:17:00.002Z

The last time that I can recall being this tired I was, funnily enough, on the return leg of my honeymoon coming back from New York. The 2008 Presidential Campaign has been no less exhausting, or rewarding than that trip.

I finally got to bed at 4.45am this morning (GMT) having vowed to stay up until I was absolutely certain that Obama had done it. I'm glad I did, despite feeling all washed out and bleary today. It's hard to avoid cliches when trying to put into words how exciting and momentous an occasion it was, even for myself as a non-US citizen. I really got the feeling that, as a new dawn was creeping up my window, a different kind of dawn was breaking over Washington.

Experience has taught me the value of being a political cynic, but over the last year the small, still whisper of hope dared me to dream that Barack just might be able to do it. It was a child's voice, gently chiding me for being so jaded, but giving me sound reasons to think that this time might be different. Becoming a father gave me a new perspective on life. Obama's campaign in many ways struck a very personal chord with my hopes and fears for the future of the world in which my little girl is growing up.

This was the complex power of the simplest of messages; that the hopes and dreams of the little guy had become submerged in debt, blood, fear and crude oil. It was time to clean house, and more generally, to move forward as responsible citizens of the World.

It became clear pretty early on that Obama was very likely to win this, but I was still surprised as the full extent of the inroads that the Democrats had made into key battleground states. The BBC online coverage made for compelling viewing, if a little rough round the edges due to it being live, and it was interesting to note the differences between the US and UK electoral apparatus, principally the vote-weighting of the electoral college system.

McCain's speech conceding the race was as gracious as I've ever seen a beaten ticket provide. I can’t help but feel that if he'd been allowed to keep away from personal attacks and mud-slinging, and really tried to clarify key ways in which he would differ from Bush, then this election might have been a darn site closer. Indeed, the McCain campaigns insistence on an incredibly narrow agenda of soundbites and issues presented less of an image of clear focus, and more one of not wanting to enter discussions about things that they could not provide competent answers to.

The yawn-inducing merry-go-round of 'job creation', 'alaskan energy security' and 'we're mavericks!' became extremely tiresome and more hollow every time it was deployed. And, yes, it was usually Palin doing much of the deployment, sticking to her little list like her political life depended on it. You could almost picture her advisors and debate trainers shaking her by the shoulders and screaming 'stay on the path', fearful that to stray would mean that she'd be quickly devoured by more cunning political animals - especially Katie Couric :)

As an aside, it was with great satisfaction that I witnessed Sarah Palin standing close to tears beside McCain last night, a look of childish glumness etched upon her face. This is about as near to missing another Bush-sized political train wreck as I hope the US ever comes again. I'm sure that she can serve Alaska well, but hope that the Republican party are never quite so desperate to turn to her in future for answers or leadership. It'd be a faustian pact indeed if it succeeded, but if she is indeed the next bright young hope of theirs, then Barack & co. can sleep soundly in their beds for the next 4 - and probably 8 - years.

I don’t think it's overdramatic to say that the Winds Of Change and optimism were very much at Barack's back during this campaign. In the end, a powerful and heady combination of several factors has propelled him to the highest office in the land :

1) The powerful 'anti-republican' protest vote. We saw this effect in the UK when the Conservative party were finally booted out of power by Labour. Voting for someone because they are not the status quo (that has been so terribly divisive) has to be a huge factor.

2) A new generation of young, energised, and inspired voters who could finally identify with a candidate on many different levels. Besides the obvious african-american vote, Obama is a superb orator who oozes sincerity and control in a way that McCain just couldn't combat, nice guy as he is.

3) The Obama camp's ability to seize the initiative in logistical terms; exploiting new contact and fundraising methods on the internet (such as Facebook), harnessing huge amounts of donation money in the correct way to enable a real concrete, personal presence within the States they were really fighting for. Frankly, the Obama campaign caught the imagination which then had a snowball effect on popularity, and from thence voter turnout.

I'm no expert (hell, I'm not even a US citizen, I'm a Brit) but I honestly believe that the vast majority that they've polled shows that the US has signalled a firm readiness to move even further away from it's shameful past, and that with this new generation of informed and forward-thinking voters, a significant proportion of the old, stale race arguments are truly consigned to the history books, never to re-emerge no matter how desperate the Republicans may get.

As the line in the song goes (I forget which one, maybe it was several different songs?), I had personally wondered if the US had been 'down so long' that it had 'forgotten which way was up.' Obama now has a clear mandate to help clear the country's conscience, as well as reminding us of the simple human truth that no man is an island.

Unrestrained, unfettered competition and super-capitalism may be the traditional American way, but this election proves that Americans as a whole are no longer willing to aim for success at any human or social price. They may not be ready to embrace the idea of being their brother's keeper yet, but they can at least stop turning him into roadkill chasing personal prosperity.

In closing, words cannot adequately express how delighted I am that Barack has been elected. Quite apart from the vast historical significance this holds for the african-american community in the US, at its core it's a triumph of transparent pragmatic humanism over entrenched, aged pessimism. I hope that Obama and Biden will stand by their stated bi-partisan approach, gaining enough consensus to briskly move required legislation forward while not compromising too much the central promises and aims stated during their honourable campaign.

Barack Obama, 44th President Of The United States Of America, I salute you sir.

OMG Flashback No.1

2008-10-29T22:59:00.005Z

Me, aged about 12 I think, kicking back in the garden and soaking up the latest reviews in Amstrad Action magazine.

How rad am I.

Best Hot Air Balloon Ever

2008-10-29T22:55:00.001Z

"During the debate, tell-tale signs of the strain Senator McCain was under began to come to the surface."

2008-10-19T22:39:00.002+01:00

Another random SWG screenshot

2008-10-09T23:35:00.000+01:00

Hehehehe...

2008-09-29T21:00:00.002+01:00

I scanned this picture from a very, very, VERY old primary school 'news book' - I think I was about 5 or 6 at the time I drew it?

Apparently, I spent most of that weekend defending a castle from parachuting spacemen using arrows fired either from my trusty bow, or from the amazing automatic arrow turret (see centre of picture, beware - high awesome content).

And in case you're wondering, that cannon really is SAYING 'boom' :)

Random Vintage SWG Screenshot

2008-09-25T20:27:00.003+01:00

Deepsea sits in one of the alcoves of the DarkR trading post, by the shuttleport at the city of Reavers Retreat, on Lok.

These three vendors were my three main 'space' ones, for selling chassis blueprints, guns, armour, engines and so on. The free-rotation and placement of objects within the environment made for some interesting and innovative displays!

I spent many hours here stock taking, restocking, relisting, discounting, deliberately undercutting the Shipwright opposition etc. etc.

Good times :)

Roll on the Emulator!

Football Lookalikes

2008-09-17T21:49:00.005+01:00

I challenge you to avoid laughing at these! Absolute quality.

I was sent them a good while ago by a mate, but decided to condense what I consider the best ones into one single image to put it here. As you can see by the tag I added, they were originally from www.football365.com.

Huzzah!

2008-09-16T15:20:00.003+01:00

Timing. It's a funny thing, isn't it.

Having been unemployed since mid-July, I'd put all my energy into finding something else but had no luck. A lot of companies seem to advertise jobs which aren't actually there (which they only tell you when you've PASSED the interview) so that they can put you on a shortlist to call when (if?) they need you.

This creates the tension and indescribable annoyance of having lots of people say 'yes, you're great, we'll definitely hire you' - and then nothing happens. As I didn't want to have to deal with the political faff and form filling of applying for JobSeeker's Allowance, I'd held off and held off until my financial reserves were absolutely at breaking point. I'd had a good interview on Friday for a job, which I'd also passed and been told that as soon as a start date could be agreed, I'd be in there. All well and good - again. But no firm date is a painful thing when you're wallowing in ever-deepening red ink...

So, nerves in tatters and more than a little down in the mouth, I bit my pride and went down to the JobCentre for my arranged meeting to start a JSA claim today, having been reassured by the person I'd spoken to on the phone (who wanted to know the far end of a fart, by the way) that I could easily backdate my claim from the first date that my last temporary post ended. 'That's good' I thought, 'that should give me a little breathing room for a short while'.

Turns out that she'd been talking bollocks. I was told that while I could, if I wanted to, put that earlier date, the odds of getting any payment for it beyond a simple National Insurance credit would be extremely small. I could claim from the 7th of September, which is when I first started the ball rolling to make a claim (I knew it'd take a few weeks) - oh, less the 3 day waiting period (!) which would make it from the 10th instead. She'd also asked tons of totally irrelevant questions on the phone, some extremely invasive to be frank, and I had to fill in another form from scratch when I arrived! Jolly good, you call centre numpty!

After glumly trudging through the paperwork, and accepting the signing on form & booklet with all the bitter reverence of a cyanide coated turd, I made my way home. Josie had been dropped at my Mam's house earlier on, as Sharon had to pop to the Doctor's at a similar time to my appointment.

After a bit of a cuddle from the little 'un, a bit of a moan and gripe about how shite the administration of the benefit system in this country is, and a good cup of tea, we all popped back home just round the corner. I then checked my phone, which had a missed call on it.

'Probably the JobCentre asking me to come back to measure my inside leg or something' I mused, checking my voicemail. However, it was Claire from Select recruitment (a very nice lady who had taken me through my interview and tests for the Friday interview I mentioned earlier). I called her back, and she told me that she had a start date for the admin job I'd been tested and accepted for.

Tomorrow!!!!!!!

The relief is incredible. It's like a 10 stone weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can sign-off that horrid little claim form to show that my last day of claim is TODAY, post it off, and wait for the interim payment to enter my account. This should help tide me over until my first weekly pay goes in, which will be the friday after this coming one. Yes. Weekly pay, too. Awesomeness.

My sleep patterns are all to shit, so it would have been nice to have just a couple of days to pull them round, but I'm not really complaining. We don't live in an ideal world, but the timing of things that have happened today is about as ideal as it could get. I don't believe in an all powerful deity, or fate, or providence - but I'm just one lucky, lucky boy.....

Timing. It's a funny thing, isn't it. :)

Unsettlingly Accurate Battlestar Galactica Parallel

2008-09-13T01:15:00.001+01:00

Wise Words - Indeed!

2008-09-07T16:51:00.005+01:00

(reproduced from nufc.com - hope they don't mind, it's a top site, please visit it!)
_____________________________________________________________

Quotes that came directly from Dennis Wise in February 2008 (home match programme v Middlesbrough):

"Kevin has the final word - no-one else.

"A lot of people have got mixed up with the reason why I'm here and we need to straighten that out quickly.

"I'm not here to be involved in the first team, I'm not here to manage. I'm here to help Kevin as much as possible with bringing young players through and also recommending certain players to him.

“He'll say yes or no. He has the final word, no-one else. I'm not going to do things like bring players in behind his back - I'm not into that.

“Everything that happens will be run past him and he'll say yes or no. I get on very well with Kevin. He's a good man and has a good rapport with the players. He treats players like proper men. He treats players with respect and that's why he gets the best out of them.

"I've got to concentrate more on the academy, we need some young blood coming through of our own, that's something that needs to be looked at.

"We also need to look abroad for players and that's my intention over the next few years."

2008-09-07T16:26:00.001+01:00

Goodbye King Kev

2008-09-04T21:28:00.003+01:00

He's resigned now - I've not been this angry in a long time.

Will be interested to see :

a) Who Ashley & co. try to install as the new manager. If it's Wise, then they DEFINITELY don't understand what fans up here are like. The guy is universally despised, and seen as pivotal to the issues KK brought up over the last few days.

b) How many turn up to the Hull game, how loud they are - and what they're chanting!!

c) Will Ashley dare to sit with the fans at any game, anytime soon? He better have minders with him; or get someone to check his pint for arsenic. He's totally underestimated how KK was viewed up here. The 'Messiah' thing is a joke created by the London media to paint Toon fans as mindless zealots, the reality is that the guy was extremely well liked and respected as being 'one of us' who would always give you a straight answer and made the players understand what it means to the fans to wear the shirt.

d) Who even declares an interest in a manager's job where it's now explicit that control over players in/out is completely and utterly out of their hands...?

When Kev was first asked about Wise coming in, he said that 'he (ie. KK) still retains full control over comings and goings'. The position was simply meant to provide a streamlined scouting network to largely suggest YOUNGER players to sign for the long run, nothing to do with proper first team matters in most respects. Did KK misunderstand, was he lied to, or did the goalposts change?

Already the media are laughing their arses off over 'crybaby' Keegan running away again (gimme a break, learn to read) and what a joke the Toon are.

They can only really import a foreign manager now, who is totally compliant and used to working 'the european way' where, basically, they simply and purely coach what they are given by the higher-ups, and keep their trap shut. I didn't rate Curbishley, but KK and Curbs walking within a couple of days over essentially the same issue? This has to be a wake-up call that this is two more clubs turning into corporate committees, and away from their roots.

Could you see the Glaziers telling Fergie who to buy? I think not.

I read someone elsewhere make a really good point - look at Portsmouth! They were sinking out of sight under the 'new european way', but as soon as they cleared out the totally unnecessary 'admin & meddling' layer at the club and let Harry wheel and deal, they were on the up and up.

Iam seething.Even if 'the new guy' somehow steadies the ship, it'll take an awful lot to bring the fans back on-side, and Ashley & co. will be stained badly by this. He needs to sell up, take his cronies (all of them - Wise, Vetere, Llambias, Jimenez) and play Champ Manager 08 or something, where he cannot revive then slowly strangle a real club ever again.

The 'Good Wife Guide'

2008-09-04T15:48:00.003+01:00

This just goes to show how much attitudes have changed towards being a wife in the 53 year gap.

It's absolutely hilarious. If this was published now, the magazine offices would be burned down for sure.

I particularly like the last two points; just about guaranteed to get a sharp object thrown at you if you were to even suggest them to a girl in 2008... :)

2008-09-02T15:25:00.007+01:00

"Kevin Keegan - Official NUFC Statement

NEWCASTLE United can confirm that meetings between members of the Board and manager Kevin Keegan were held both yesterday and today.

Kevin has raised a number of issues and those have been discussed with him.

The Club wants to keep progressing with its long-term strategy and would like to stress that Kevin is extremely important, both now and in the future.

Newcastle United values the effort and commitment shown by Kevin since his return to St. James' Park and wants him to continue to play an instrumental role as manager of the Club.

For the avoidance of doubt the Club has not sacked Kevin Keegan as manager."

This statement appeared today on the official NUFC website, following a full day of feverish speculation and assassination of the club, manager and fans by the London media. The wording and content of this statement, to me, is extremely clear in what it's trying to set out; 'WE'VE NOT PULLED THE TRIGGER'. I reckon they've put this out there in good time prior to Keegan deciding to walk, so that the club isn't painted as the villain in all this.

Although things were explained to KK regarding how the club is set up now (with the poison Dwarf Wise and co. being 'in charge' of transfers) I think he - quite rightly- wanted more input over who we get in. He's not used to working like this, and could quite rightly be angry by the fact that we have one loanee and one new signing when he's been told we've got about 3 almost dead certs to come in.

After all, you'd think if Wise & co. purely DO that kind of thing, as their dedicated and sole task, they'd be able to come good in time. Kev has probably sounded off to the board about how sluggish the new structure is compared to other clubs, and hence the apparent impasse.

I'm sure Spurs would be happier if Comolli had sod all to do with transfers, instead of the huge number of flops he brought in. I have a strong feeling that, if KK had been allowed to target and pursue the players he wanted, in his own way, we'd be a lot more positive about this whole situation. I wonder if KK feels as much of a passenger in this as the fans do..?

More news on this tomorrow, I hope.

Atheism

2008-08-29T22:02:00.004+01:00

I couldn't have put it better myself...

PS. Yes, Atheists has been spelled incorrectly. It's still bang on the money.

2008-08-22T14:53:00.002+01:00

2008-08-19T15:05:00.001+01:00

Whitworth Hall

2008-08-12T20:46:00.007+01:00

We decided that, come rain or shine, we'd make sure to get out of the house and do something today. And so, option 1 pouring itself in spades onto our collective heads, we took a venture out to Whitworth Hall Country Park.

Sharon and I were married at Whitworth Parish Church, a very small traditional church almost hidden in the vast grounds of the country park itself. It was a beautiful venue, full of character and life while not being in the least bit pretentious or overblown, and it's really nice to go back there. We had the reception at the hotel there, which was also excellent.

If you get the chance, and live anywhere near Spennymoor or Durham in general, I'd highly recommend having a day out there. It's very relaxing and picturesque, and being able to walk among the Deer in such a tranquil and historical setting is nice.

You can find out more about it by visiting their website, at www.whitworthhall.co.uk .

Above are some pictures I took today, to give you an idea of what I'm talking about. The skies were sodden and grey, but you can (almost) forget it when you're wandering in a place as nice as this.

Oh, and they sell Ice Cream at 'Shafto's', the family pub there too. This was an important point that I don't think Josie would want me to leave out.

She left few points uncovered herself; there were perhaps three small areas of her clothing which the Ice Cream avoided.

More 3D Pavement Art

2008-08-10T18:53:00.002+01:00

I think these things are superb - what a skill!

Happy Birthday To Me!

2008-08-08T19:08:00.005+01:00

And so, upon the 8th day of the 8th month in the year 2008, it came to pass that He turned 30.

The answer is 'no', I don't feel any older.

Had a nice relaxing day, the obligatory slightly-too-much-to-eat that underlines a good birthday, and I'm feeling more than a little warm and sleepy now. Simple pleasures, eh?

Hitting this kind of milestone should naturally be a time of reflection, and to say that I've been thinking about a lot of things recently as this day approaches would be fair comment. However, I find myself looking more forward than back. I've accomplished so much in such a relatively short time; I have a house, I have a beautiful wife who is an amazing mother to my equally amazing little girl. The fact that, as I write this, I'm out of work, doesn't really worry me too much.

A lot of people pour their energies into their careers, their jobs, their 'stuff', and end up with very little to show for it in the end except material possessions and the moebius loop of 'bigger, better, more expensive' clinging to their psyche like a leech; like the Car they drive or the house they own is really important. Sure, to them, it really is. But I think of it this way; if a hurricane came tomorrow, and took our car and house and all our stuff, we'd still be a family.

And that counts a hundred-fold more than anything else, in my book.

I've made a lot of mistakes in the 30 years I've been on this planet. Some huge ones, some small ones. But I think I've turned out alright. I'd like to think that I'm a good father, and a good husband, and essentially a good and well-balanced person.

Life, for me, is great; and as my fatherly and husbandly experience matures into my salt-and-pepper hair phase, I'm confident that while tough times will always lurk just around the corner like a semi-cloaked malevolent poo on the pavement of life, my natural agility and easy-clean shoes will see me OK.

Thanks to everyone for their kind wishes! I hope you'll continue to keep a check on my Blog, and that it may raise the odd smile or two to brighten a dull day.

PS. The 'donate' button is STILL on the top of the webpage. It does actually work, it's not just for show. Seriously, you don't believe me? Try it out! Remember to put the zeros in the right place now, y'hear?

Quality Product, Great Price!

2008-07-31T14:02:00.004+01:00

I saw this sign in a shop today and thought 'yeah, that's today's Blog entry for sure'.

2008-07-27T14:05:00.004+01:00

A street painting by 3D artist Kurt Wenner, at Waterloo Station in London.

2008-07-23T14:22:00.004+01:00

BROKEN VIDEO :(

- blog post removed

Top 10 Best 'Bush-isms'

2008-07-22T22:43:00.005+01:00

10) "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

9) "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000

8) "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." —second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

7) "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

6) "You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." —to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

5) "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

4) "They misunderestimated me." —Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

3) "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" —Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

2) "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

1) "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

(Reproduced for laffs from about.com, originally compiled by Daniel Kurtzman)

The 'Other' Rocket List

2008-07-11T14:19:00.005+01:00

Following on from my top 10 people I'd like to see blasted into the Sun on a rocket, I thought it only fitting to do the reverse; list 10 people I'd make sure were saved from an extinction-level event.

Of course, I'm not citing these people as the only 10 - you'd obviously need a whole ton more to viably sustain the race, and breed elsewhere - but if I had to pick 10, this is who they'd be.

Naturally, my family and friends are already on the first rocket off this doomed rock :)

Apart from them, in no particular order, it'd be :

1) Barack Obama
2) Faustino Asprilla
3) Will Smith
4) Denzel Washington
5) Patrick Stewart
6) Sir Ian McKellan
7) Carole Vorderman
8) Arnold Schwarzenegger
9) Isla Fisher
10) Chow Yun Fat

Siegfried's Brother, Vidal : A War Marriage

2008-07-10T21:28:00.003+01:00

Do you remember, dear, the day we met?
We cleansed and styled, shampooed the parapet
Until the barbed wire looked like it had just
hobbled out of a Salon.

We hugged each other as the shells fell hard
Upon the roof above our working place,
Scattered the hirsute off-cuts in the yard-
They called it 'No Man's Land' but it was ours,
We barbered on through bayonets and bombs.

Above it all were we, we loved, we worked,
Trench marriages, unheard of 'til that day
were pioneered by us, the stalwart doves;
Even the Allies dying on our driveway
(The little pre-trench to our littler shop)
seemed bid us laugh at War, and pave the way
for freedom's healthy roots- like each trimmed head
cried 'Armistice!' unto the mud caked pawns.

Corpse customers were rolled in, and sat down
And we'd engage the sacred, pointless banter;
'Been on your holidays?' we'd question them.
"Yes' they'd burble back, through bloodied lips,
'We'd booked four years in Provence to 'wind down'...
'Such fun!' the Old Squire said, but Hun came too."

And we would smile our peevish, practised smile,
Praise the Lord, then charge in with the comb.
"Four years? Too bad... something for the weekend?"

The Wongabong Fly

2008-07-08T21:04:00.003+01:00

The Wongabong Fly
was not like you or me.
He had twelve pairs of wings
but no head you could see.
He flew in figure nines
(He found the 'eights' a bore)
Revered grand-daddy
of ones we ignore.

A legendary insect
who taught mosquitoes and gnats
How to miss the flailing corks
on Anti-Fly hats.

9.9

2008-07-08T20:59:00.002+01:00

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty, sick of it all.
His death leap was marvellous! All the King's Men
kept asking him 'Hey, will you do that again?'

Back To The Drawing Board

2008-07-03T20:03:00.006+01:00

My temporary placement with my employer came to an end today.

It was a good experience, I met some really nice people, and it came along at just the right time to help me out financially. I regret that it wasn't possible to stay on a little longer, but am looking forward to spending some more quality time with Sharon and Josie, and will keep looking for something permanent that I can get my teeth into.

If anyone from there happens to be reading this, thanks for making me feel so welcome, and I wish you all the best for the future.

Rocket List

2008-07-01T20:50:00.004+01:00

My wife and I were having one of those weird discussions we have sometimes, that flair up from nowhere and engross us for at least 8 minutes, and she posted the outcome on her blog (see my links at the top right to visit it). The subject was 'if you could blast a rocket into the sun, with any 10 people on it, who would you send?'

Here's my list. No offence intended to those I select for arbitrary execution, of course. Feel free to include me on YOUR rocket.

(No order)

1. Gok Wan
2. Eamonn Holmes
3. James Nesbitt
4. Cristiano Ronaldo
5. Paris Hilton
6. Ant & Dec (I count this as one choice, they can share a seat for the duration of the flight)
7. Gillian McKeef/McKeith/that sour faced righteous bint on the telly
8. Victoria Beckham
9. TV Doctor Raj Persaud ... 'Hmm.. there is SOME evidence of that...' (STFU!!!!!!!)
10. George W Bush

.....Maybe I could send a whole fleet of rockets? My shit list is massive.

2008-06-29T22:24:00.002+01:00

2008-06-23T20:50:00.002+01:00

2008-06-23T19:52:00.005+01:00

It's been a while since I did that typically blog-ish thing, the deliberately self-indulgent online diary entry. However, as I've come to realise that the most that friends and acquaintances may hear of me comes direct from these entries, I suppose I should do a few more!

The Monday to Friday 9 til 5 (OK, 8.30am until 4.30pm, with an hour earlier shift so I can get football in on Wednesdays with colleagues after work) is draining me more than I thought it would. My body seems more adjusted to either complete inactivity (the natural male state, I hear you feminists cry) to simply working fewer - but much longer - days. I'm feeling sleepy when I'm in from work only an hour or two, but it's not hard to stay awake when you have a fab little 2 year old really glad to have you home, and eager to babble on about her day in the cutest little broken sentences ever.

It's impossible to get across in words how it is to be a Dad. I know it's different for everyone, but I always wanted kids, and the fact that I have a genuine soul-mate for a wife makes it all picture perfect. I could just sit and watch our little one for hours; she's fascinating. Her completely non-cynical and innocently naive take on everything is extremely refreshing, considering the incredible cynicism of her father. My faith in human nature has been restored somewhat, and recharges slowly, the further I am away from T-Mobile in both space and time.

Looks like the project I'm employed on at work is going to run until the end of July, which will serve to recharge my coffers significantly. The payment holiday we took on the mortgage runs until March 2009, so this gives me plenty of time to find a good permanent job when this finally runs its course. It'll be a shame, as it's a really nice place to work, and the atmosphere is great.

Things are good and steady, and it all bodes well for the future.

2008-06-17T22:51:00.001+01:00

Mars

2008-06-14T02:34:00.003+01:00

This picture was taken from the latest Mars lander mission, which successfully touched down there recently.

Something about this picture just puts everything into perspective. Sure, it's a fairly featureless and largely barren landscape, but... no human has ever set foot on it. It is completely untouched by human hand (and, for the most part, by incredibly expensive techno-litter) and should remain so for a very, very long time.

I find this quite comforting- there is so much more outside our own insignificant little sphere, just waiting to be explored. What purpose Earth governments, or politics, or war, or the latest series of Big Brother, when faced with the incredible vastness of...well... everywhere else...?

If Aliens are truly visiting this planet, it could only be as some kind of comedy theme park outing for them. They probably mutilate cattle, leave crop-circles and anally probe Rednecks in the same way that we might buy a pair of Mickey Mouse ears or a 'Kiss Me Quick' T-Shirt.

2008-06-08T11:21:00.001+01:00

New Horizons

2008-06-06T20:03:00.004+01:00

I really must take the time to post here more often.

As an update to those not in the know, I've recently started a period of temporary admin work for a major bank. The pay is good, the atmosphere is excellent, and the work is very interesting!

To say it's a far cry from the call-centre driven experience that my working life has been dominated by in the past is an understatement. It's a veritable breath of fresh air, and although it's only temporary, it serves to :

1) Show that Iam eminently employable in non customer service work, away from a headset, and can be trusted with very sensitive information and ;

2) Recharge my haggard current account; it'll allow me to take my time finding a permanent position more under my own terms and timescales. Also it means that ;

3) T-Mobile are no longer my last employer, so I need have nothing more to do with them. Huzzah!

I'm doing the standard Monday to Friday 7.5hr days, but it's very local to where I live so travel isn't tough. Being that I was only working 3 days a week (albeit 10.5 hour shifts) at T-Mobile, and have then had almost 3 months out of work, it's taking some time for my body clock to adjust to this new routine. I'm shattered.

But inwardly smug too :)

Age Of Conan

2008-05-31T14:42:00.003+01:00

Sorry it's been a while since my last update, been pretty busy.

Behold above - a screenshot from my new online addiction, Age Of Conan. This has to be easily the most realistic, atmospheric online gaming environment ever created for an MMO. The screenshot here can't show it's full glory, but that water is amazing.

Bear in mind also, this isn't even the game at a top resolution or with the graphics settings right up- and it's STILL stunning.

2008-05-15T00:38:00.001+01:00

2008-04-29T13:18:00.002+01:00

Age Of Conan - Bear Shaman PVP Video

2008-04-22T23:59:00.003+01:00

BROKEN VIDEO

- POST DELETED :(

Things Not To Try If Bored

2008-04-22T14:27:00.003+01:00

(taken from a BBC.CO.UK news article)

"A Roman Catholic priest who used 1,000 helium balloons to try to break a flying record has gone missing off the southern coast of Brazil.

Rev Adelir de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday, equipped with a parachute, thermal suit, satellite phone and a GPS device.

A sea and air rescue operation is under way after he lost contact with port authority officials late on Sunday.

He wanted to break a 19-hour record for the most hours flying with balloons."

With all of those balloons, let's hope they don't 'PINPOINT' his location too accurately :D

K... I'll get me coat.

Shouldn't be funny, but...

2008-04-22T14:19:00.002+01:00

2008-04-09T13:27:00.000+01:00

No, I never tire of making pictures like this.

It's SITEL time!

2008-04-06T15:53:00.000+01:00

It's NGE Time!

2008-04-06T15:34:00.001+01:00

2008-04-03T13:37:00.000+01:00

Of all the places to sleep, this one REALLY sucks...

2008-03-28T15:18:00.001Z

John Smedley Spotted Playing World Of Warcraft

2008-03-25T12:20:00.002Z

The Last Supper

2008-03-21T19:46:00.004Z

Well, I had my 'leaving do' with my old team from T-Mobile last night. A good time was had by all I think, and the food at my favourite restaurant (Da Vincis in Chester-le-Street, respect is due) was as fabulous as ever.

It was really nice seeing them all again (most came, with the unfortunate exception of one or two who sadly couldn't make it) and it brought home to me that I've left some very good people behind there. However, I know that almost without exception they envy my freedom, however difficult and problematic the reality of it is.

If any of you are reading this, guys; I miss you, and think of you often. I swear to return to rescue you all if I suddenly come into a large amount of cash. Spare a thought for the absent jester should fortune smile on you, as well! Hopefully I'll see you all again very soon. Until then, I'm only an email away.

"Meh, it'll hold, this'll just take a minute..."

2008-03-17T14:31:00.003Z

Disgruntled worker at printing company, or business suicide? Vote now!

2008-03-15T15:29:00.004Z

T-Mobile UK & SITEL = Customer Service Joke

2008-03-14T15:44:00.003Z

How I Feel About the 2008 UK Budget

2008-03-13T14:25:00.004Z

'Pimp My Ride' - Sunderland Edition

2008-03-09T14:14:00.004Z

"How man, divvn't get in a rajj. He said he wanted it git chrome 'n' that. It'll dee."

Bush vs. 'Interrogation Techniques'

2008-03-08T14:39:00.005Z

(reproduced from AOL News)

"US president George Bush is to veto legislation that would have barred the CIA from using waterboarding, a technique that simulates drowning, and other harsh interrogation methods on terror suspects.

Mr Bush said the Bill would harm the government's ability to prevent future terror attacks, but supporters of the legislation argue that it preserves America's right to collect critical intelligence while boosting the country's moral standing abroad.

"The Bill would take away one of the most valuable tools on the war on terror, the CIA programme to detain and question key terrorist leaders and operatives," deputy White House press secretary Tony Fratto said.

The Bill would restrict the CIA to using only the 19 interrogation techniques listed in the Army Field Manual.

The legislation would bar the CIA from using waterboarding, sensory deprivation or other coercive methods to break a prisoner who was refusing to answer questions.
The practices were banned by the military in 2006, but the president wants the harsh interrogation methods to be a part of the CIA's toolbox.

Backers of the legislation, which cleared the House of Representatives in December and won Senate approval last month, say the interrogation methods used by the military are sufficient.
White House spokeswoman Dana Perino denied in a briefing that Mr Bush's veto would empower the CIA to torture.

She said the Army Field Manual "is very good guidance for young soldiers who are out on the field who might capture somebody out on the battlefield, but it is not something that should apply to a terrorist interrogation programme that is run by the CIA".

But Democratic Senator Edward Kennedy said in a statement: "President Bush's veto will be one of the most shameful acts of his presidency. Unless Congress overrides the veto, it will go down in history as a flagrant insult to the rule of law and a serious stain on the good name of America in the eyes of the world."

Jemmy The Cat

2008-03-06T14:21:00.004Z

(warning : some strong language... no, really, I ain't f*ck*ing joking)

Call Of Duty - Women's Version

2008-03-02T21:33:00.003Z

SOE Mutant Krayt Elite Boss (blatant in-joke)

2008-03-01T21:30:00.006Z

WARNING - An extremely dangerous beast has been spotted lurking around the graveyard recently. Please note that we're not referring to the Krayt Graveyard - we're referring to the current state of the official euro-chimaera server after the NGE.

You are warned not to approach this very dangerous and ravenous beast, known as the Mutant SOE Krayt Elite Boss. It's many times higher than you, and will often rub this in your face.

It can be recognised by the hideous mutations it's been subject to by SOE, namely that it has John Smedley's head and a previously unknown growth near it's anus. This growth has subsequently been identified as a greater spotted shitworm, also known as Julio Torres. This growth seems to have been attached to the Smedley Mutant's ass for some time, until they almost seem like one purely functional living organism of propaganda.

They feed on the unwary players they stumble on from time to time, but according to imperial survey reports this creature is in danger of extinction as it's natural food supply is dwindling very low indeed. It's speculated that it'll have to migrate to a new area very soon to avoid dying out.

DNA profiling has recently been completed by dissecting it's droppings (for example, Garva) and this had led to a greater understanding of the nature of how power can corrupt living tissue. The SOE Mutant Krayt DNA has far too many threads, and is therefore somewhat unstable. When enraged, or fed further ideas by focus groups, cellular disruption occurs which manifests in the form of 'new iconic publishes'.

We advise all nearby players or observers to clear the area if they believe that this cellular disruption is about to happen. Failure to do so could lead to psychological effects not limited to; disillusion, depression, inexplicable rage, feelings of deep loss, disappointment, and suicidal tendencies.

Travellers and players are advised NOT TO APPROACH this dangerous animal if at all possible and never, EVER, feed it money.

2008-03-01T21:26:00.002Z

Snoop Dogg Returns

2008-02-29T01:37:00.003Z

Star Wars Galaxies - Spot The Difference

2008-02-28T14:19:00.003Z

Pony For Your Thoughts

2008-02-28T14:03:00.003Z

I found a horse of splendid girth
Estranged of life, with glassy eyes,
Miasmad all around with flies
that supped its ribs profound with dearth.

Lame and wounded, deaf and dumb,
Torn and shattered from its prime.
So prematurely cut short time
would leave the cruellest horsman numb.

Broken purpose, heart's decay,
He cantered to this leafy spot
Each unvoiced horsey woe forgot,
Embraced the earth, and passed away.

Fodder for the Knacker's Yard
This proud young beast, this friend of men!
Yet worthy not for word again
except by some intemperate Bard.

They dragged him to the trailer-bay
And rolled their greedy eyes around;
"Between this saddle, and this ground,
We glue-base sought, and glue-base found."

"On this crime of conscience you are caught!
Our thankless tyranny, his dying thought!
It came to court one ill-attended day,
Remorseless wealth replying only -

"Nay".

Old School Gaming For The Win

2008-02-27T12:17:00.001Z

Caged Youth

2008-02-27T12:01:00.005Z

'Twas there, inside that paragon of woods
Where down I lay, within a shaw of ire,
And partook pinches of diurnal snuff
Perpending years past simple joys enough
That, had my senses lulled me not to cully,
I would have stopped the mouth of th'whispering bud
And stretched to death, on funicles of fire,
The necks of those who shout, and those would would.

Rambling dreams of Bertha of the Farm
Whose hands lay russet of the murdered poult.
Her baleful whining of a vaudeville
Of future three score years and ten to kill.
Yet maybe in that coarsely rustic role
Perhaps the gudgeon seeks but to expose
the histrionic man God cast as Colt
Who can't read rhyming reason; only prose.

I chid the Sun a gadabout from Hell,
Constant to the extent it grows stolid.
I chid the Oak the sour age it purports
And shamefaced, pursy elegy it courts.
When crepitation of the rain ascends
to drown the lovesong of once-wrangling Wrens,
I would have chid the ground apart as well,
For being little more than merely solid!

The track that leads here is a travesty
As if 'twere lain as curio at stall.
I walked here as a child, and know it well;
'Tis like a mourning frump, who weeps the knell.
In half-remembered boyhood I roamed free,
But poignant crystal dreams now fade away.
I hear the sibyl of the present call,
"Return, Old Man, dwell not in yesterday"

2008-02-25T01:22:00.002Z

Of The Lady Winterheart

2008-02-24T21:57:00.005Z

She moves away, her spirit cursed by laws
that fill her mind with frost. None know the cause
of why she is so sad,
Her castle filled with many fine hewed statues.
Hark! Before you go friends. Listen awhile.

She watches keen at sunrise in the morning.
She never fails to mourn it's loss at dusk.
She knows no love save this,
For love melts icy hearts.
Do you hear? Soldier, Poet, Duellist?

She reads her books, the prattle whittles time
to one short bladed threat. Age heeds her
waste, and ranging poles of Youth
rot in the snow,
That ever falls like indecision's touch -
but here, but there, unknowing where to go.

What use has she for handsome princes now?
For every man who craved her hand and got
Felt out the Midas frozentouch, and died,
Becoming but one more statue, besot,
While beauty, numbed in guilt, yet glides away.

The seasons change but
Heart ice never thaws.
Procrastinator
Freezing shut locked doors.
Be warned; one touch,
and you are doomed to die.
So Soldier, Poet, Duellist;
Stand thee by.

Religion

2008-02-23T13:39:00.011Z

If you haven't already done so, check out http://www.evilbible.com/ for a vast array of compelling critiques relating to 'The Bible'. It points out how God is a jealous, cruel perpetrator of mass genocide, not to mention an inciter of racial hatred.

You have to love people who take 'their' Bible literally. The refusal to accept the simple, commonly acknowledged fact that it has been whittled down over the centuries, and edited by people (note, not God!), to portray only what the organised Church wished it to.

I'm not bashing Christianity per se, I abhor any religion which anyone can potentially use as justification to spread death and suffering under the thin veneer of 'righteousness'.

And yes, I know that for someone who swings a stick at religion, I write an awful lot of poems relating to God. I must point out, I'm not actually writing them, I'm merely *channelling* them from a higher power ;)

Fate

2008-02-22T14:36:00.004Z

Into the milky eyes of Time I gazed
In sleep, and found a mislaid truth, and laughed.
A phantom image on an unfelt wind,
God saw perception, spoke, and I was gone.
My blood now ran as hourglass sands. He held
the very essence of me in his hand.
Colossus Lord! His palm bore Earth and I
And all that is. Titanic burden, none.

I felt a silent, fatherly rebuke.
If old age ever scorned, the scowl was his.
"I thought my Revelation hid, but you,
You that have railed against me, cauled in sin
Beheld by accident the buried Word,
Yet shrugged at reverence, grasping the divine
Alike some petty bauble purchased new
Or trophy any pagan beast may win."

"Prized punishment! Bear thou immortal pains!"
I screamed as knowledge waves washed Self away
in boiling torrents, countless agonies,
Disfiguring the freewill I had shaped...

This truth is terrible, and none must know!
This esoteric secret must be lost!
For human minds are fertile for despair
above all things. The rest is just for show.

"Now everything be as it first would seem!"
The hour was out, my crimson river run,
Returning to the sleeping form below
I woke up late, dismissed the vivid dream;
'Til I looked in the mirror, huge and crack'd...

Upon my brow, fire-carved by who I'd met
Was what, for mankind's sake, I must forget.
How ultimate these scars! O Pointless Wrath!
For words, four binding bands :

I CHOOSE THE PATH

Snow White C.S.I.

2008-02-22T14:23:00.004Z

Weapon : Bad Apple
(Obviously)
Time Of Sleeping Death :
around half-past three.

You'd credit those dwarves
with a little more sense
Than a 'say yes' Princess
for home defence.

(During the questioning
all became clear;
The 'housekeeper' deal
had been Dopey's idea.

The autopsy findings
were no great surprise,
Just that forceps or kisses
could open her eyes.

Granny Smith's prints
were all over the place.
Send C.S.I. home
It's an open/shut case.

2008-02-21T15:07:00.001Z

End Of An Era

2008-02-18T14:45:00.004Z

Well, in the end it all fell to bits like a house of really cheap cards on a windy day.

After almost 8 years of loyal service, 2 of which were served with distinction and top quality coaching/customer satisfaction scores on the Email team, I was forced to resign rather than be relocated back to Frontline customer services taking calls.

And why? Well, in a nutshell, the endless streams of Indian SITEL employees in Hyderabad, who can send out utter mindless sh*te and/or templates at impressive speed while being paid around a quarter of my wage. The Cult Of Productivity decreed that the Email team should be cut to around a third of it's original number, and yours truly was in the wrong place at the wrong time - but refusing to compromise on actually spending time getting things right, which made it worse for me in the end.

I wasn't over-keen on going back to being sworn at all day by angry people who have been cut off for not paying their bills, or blaming me for their wife dying of cancer, or holding me personally responsible for the fact they couldn't get a free 350 quid phone every year despite their loyalty (oh yeah, and they spend about a tenner a month.........). I did it for 5 years, and to be honest, I consider that I served my time there. It was done, I had moved on/up.

So, having been told to report back to call taking on the 18th, like a good little obedient number on a spreadsheet, I tendered my resignation effective the 17th - and am now unemployed, for the first time in a very long time indeed.

It was a very sad and emotional day, but only due to leaving the bosom of a fantastic team, and for the fact that it was blindingly obvious that 8 years of real quality service meant sod all in the end. My loathing and hatred for everything T-Mobile and SITEL shall endure; in other words, and to the dread of the statisticians who are paid so well to turn out reams of doctored graphs and charts showing how much everyone in the country loves T-Mobile, I will become 'a detractor' *shudder*

I don't as a rule hold grudges, but this one just got chiselled in stone on my soul.

We were always told how important it was to 'live the brand'. Well, I said it then, and I'll record it here for posterity. A brand is something burned onto flesh, often denoting forced ownership.

Customers want someone competent and polite, to spend time and due diligence getting things right, the very first time. They do not want a clueless battery hen clucking out a slew of corporate soundbites while creating or compounding errors through complete ignorance of the role, and a good old fashioned simple lack of care.

In other news, you may have noticed the very obvious 'donate' button at the top right of this blog.

No?

Look harder :P

Ordinarily, I'd be far too proud to beg, however under the circumstances, I could use all the help I can get. Pride is just too expensive right now....

PS. Business news just in - the Disney Corporation are looking to bid to buy out T-Mobile UK. Apparently, they recognise a mickey-mouse company when they see one.

Teaser Trailer

2008-02-05T00:29:00.002Z

A teaser trailer for the new imperial guild I'm forming on the http://www.euro-chimaera.co.uk/ live server, once the SWG pre-CU emulator is finished.

Surgery

2008-02-01T23:51:00.002Z

I wrote this one many, many years ago after having a horrible nightmare about being operated on... it's not particularly merit worthy as poetry goes, and it's a bit rough, but even now it does make me remember that dream quite vividly. Unfortunately :/
___________________________________________________________________

Through a dreamlike haze, I felt the parted flesh
meet again in a stinging kiss. The wake of
the blade must leave this. Yet I should not know!
Not enough used. Agony laid on thick;

Iam not under anaesthetic!

Paralysed by fear, and laboured breath,
I cannot feel my fingers; only theirs, in my torso.
My eyes taped shut, but I see Them!
Evil miracle workers commanding me 'Open!'

Faith in God is disappearing
Crimsons claws and foul maws leering
Laser-light and nerve ends searing
My trinket life, my end is nearing

In the interests of Science, dismembered
By a handful of minds I'm remembered.
To a shadowy place my soul flees,
While my body is rent, by degrees.

I'll never know why.

Time to die.

After The Blast - Part 2

2008-01-26T21:23:00.001Z

I've posted part 2 of my story on the euro-chimaera forums, which can be found at the link below.

http://www.euro-chimaera.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=2157

PS. In other news, we lost a ridge tile off the roof in the high winds last night. It's perilously perched in the gutter at the side of the house.

The toaster broke today. The shower broke last week. We had to replace the main house phone as it was knackered in the last two weeks as well.

Ah man, so much for the year of not spending much >.<

Windy...

2008-01-25T15:38:00.000Z

The wind was battering the house all last night again, and it's still windy as hell today. Cold too.

I'm feeling a bit listless at the moment, like I'm just waiting for something to happen. Not sure what. Hopefully it'll be something pleasant and/or lucrative.

Can't think of much more to say, but wanted to post something! Might post more later, when I'm feeling a bit more inspired!

Random Musings

2008-01-18T23:11:00.000Z

Iam so glad Kevin Keegan is back at Newcastle. I respect Sam Allardyce for what he honestly tried to do, but I think he might have brought a small club mentality with him to a Church Of Football like St. James' Park. It was always going to end in tears.

Even if we don't win anything, just having 'one of us' at the helm, who wants to motivate the players to really go out and express themselves should mean that a bit of pride will be restored. It'd be too much to hope that the glory days would ever come back, but you just never know with KK around. Welcome back Kev, you have been missed.

The wind is howling at our windows tonight; this will be the 60mph winds that the News was warning about tonight. It's battering the house, but amazingly the little one is sleeping right through it. A trait she picks up from her Dad, I suspect ;)

I applied for 3 new jobs today, hopefully one of them will work out as I'm f*****g sick of the place I'm at currently. 8 years I'll have been there this year, probably 5 years too long in retrospect. Ah well, you live and learn, eh? I turn 30 this August, and 2008 seems as good a watershed year as any; I'm notorious for sticking to safety, and what I know, and branching out a bit may do me a power of good.

Fingers crossed.

Call To Arms

2008-01-15T14:26:00.002Z

Stand your ground, my valiant cousins, for we live beneath a lie!
Raise your blades in righteousness, for truth has stood too long a-wry!
Hold the torch of Justice to the wine-drenched wood of noble pyres!
Tear the scaffold down, before your necks are stretched by spiteful Squires!
Scream old whispered exhortations, bring them to their gouty knees!
Prove them false, and cowards all, you weary kin of Ulysses!

Farmers, bring your scythes; cut down these rotten crops of ancient days,
The good soil festers from these gaudy, poisoned weeds set in their ways.
These feudal felons beat you, rob you, mark the ground that you may plough,
Let villains reap a bitter harvest from the furrow of your brow!
Are you not angered by their banquets, while your children starve and die?
These Dogs have gold, which murders Need, which murdered them in passing by.

Upon the hilltop hang our heroes crucified. O Misery!
What honest man can hold his tears surveying freedom's Calvary?
Be unashamed of all your weeping, for it weighs your honour's worth
More surely than a thousand claims and titles given at your birth.
If you lack courage but are proud, then listen; do not blame your tools!
The poor men make, the rich men take,
Who will time prove the greater fools?

Apathy

2008-01-15T14:12:00.002Z

"Mankind should spend it's time upon the fence.
No wrack, or ruin, nor magnificence.
From little things do mighty evils grow -
The path of flesh must thus be ever so."

And youth did ponder long, and asked 'But why?
Why should predestiny permit me fly,
but then remove the wings that take me there?
Because The Answer's written in the air?'

"Because the heart of men is weak but proud,
Because the dirge of death is seldom loud,
But foremost, heeding history, to me;
It simply is the safest place to be."

A Lament For Love Lost

2008-01-15T13:58:00.001Z

Solitude will be my ticket
To meet you some rainy day,
When time has dulled the noisy lusts
And petty loves have passed away.

'Time heals' is but a grave-side joke,
A laughless alien within,
That prods the dying embers in me
Urging me to greater sin.

Cry 'Love', and it will find you there.
The race it brings will stop and start
inside your shattered, hopeless hope
still burning. Acting out the part

You reassign it fresh each day
With every soulborne force enkinned
to move from heart, to mouth, to say
Such words of warmth. All are ruined.

'Moving on', sweet kiss from Death
A sentiment that mocks my breath,
Like ill-twinned names Love made to die,
Fallen in their suicide.

Rest Home Christmas

2008-01-15T13:44:00.001Z

In twelve days, a Christmas.
A new breath for tired shops,
where old tradition
meets middle-aged children.

Darkened streets lit up
with the glow of rosy neon lights.
Your photograph, warm love
nestling in my colder hands.

An image of joy,
Snowblind, we laughed,
and threw rough snowballs.
Those days are gone now.

Chimneys, too small,
too modern to allow even notions
of Santa Claus.
You are gone.

But still here as the snow falls.
Inside the snug, cozy cottage of memory
we are still together.
The past will be my present.

"Prejudiced Grapes Flee Under Cover Of City Smog" - 1992

2008-01-15T02:53:00.002Z

I drew this about 16 years ago :O

The Epic Of The Shipwrecked Sailor

2008-01-15T01:29:00.001Z

I. Abased and unique drifted I for days
Upon th'inviolate ocean, cold and moist
between the toes of my malnourished feet.
The Sun had rose and sank four times before
I moaned ultimatum to my hunger;'Desist or...'
('cook and eat me' died on breath)

At the World's edge, the campfires brightly blazed
Complex signals. For me! To small boys, this were no mean feat!
They surely were small boys like angels, for they found me shore
And helped me to their makeshift camp, and fed
my aching weather'd body 'til it bulged

And strained the seams of my poor rag constraints
that pinched me as they dried.
This multitude of boys were not boys- nor men at all.
Rather they were in-between such growth.
Clothed in green, like sailors...atrophied.

Yet most silent. Mindful of their condition.
Fitful stares, and limps and blister'd faces.
When I regained my vigour, I asked them
'Who be you creatures? Tell me of thyself!
My appetite for food you sate, not knowledge'.

One said his name was Pipkin, and spoke up
'We once were men- now 'beast-made-men'- some say.
Some call us Leprechauns or 'Leper-Corns'.
The latter suits us, for you risk your skin in staying with us.
You are surely ours!'

'How dare you rescue me, O little men,
Then claim me as thy prisoner by Fate!
Hast thou no mercy, hast thou grown so sour
that every luckless, shipwrecked soul you see
Be ever caged in this community?'

They doffed their caps as one, and bid me sit
(For much alarmed I stood, within their midst).
'Dear Sir, beseech you! Take thy seat and hark
Our story is a dark and bitter one
thou shalt hold want to falsehood, but believe.'

One by one, the tale, divided up,
was laid before me, to my disbelief.
Had not their earnest glares coerced my sense
I would have laughed, and branded it fantastical.

II. 'Two hundred years unto this very day
We few, we sullen few, were just as thee-
Fit and strong and cast in normal face
Contented, 'til our ship was lost at sea.''

"Good shipmates of the freighter VEILS OF LIGHT
We clung to wreckage, floating like belief,
That we'd survive the fury of the storm
While our charge, smash'd and batter'd, gnawed the reef.''

"In darkness, drifting, just as thoud didst drift
Until, somehow, we found the lip of th'sea..
None but twelve survived to make it here;
How strange- nay, how appalling the sour mercy!"

III. 'We beached ourselves, our limbs praising the sand
and gathered rigging ropes and barrels, all
that had been brothers to us those foul times,
then organised a hasty hunt for food.''

"We skewered a wild pig with a vulgar spear
that Reilly fashioned from our ship's nameplate."
So saying, the crowd parted round the fellow
Who placed his head in hands and sobbed his piece;

"The spirit of our ship was displeased
by it's cold furied murder, sank and rent.
By blooding up it's name it came aroused
from those dead timbers, once a happy home

And realised it's end, it's unmarked grave!
It then possessed the Pig. In it's last throes,
it voiced a curse at we bedraggled fools
for violation of the goodship's soul.''

"We shared the pork amongst ourselves, and ate.
Half-crazed, and ripping uncooked flesh with teeth,
We cursed the damned existence of that reef
and whisper'd in our worry of the hate

In which the swine had cursed us, in our tongue,
With force but held by truly righteous foes
whom retribution is a cousin to,
and vengeancea tag for a raw meal of men.''

"We slept as spent men sleep that night;
The uncooked animal we had consumed
in bloodied frenzy surely saved our lives.
But no, but no...for then there came the light."

"Come early morning, screams were all the air!
Some daemon saw us in our blood-soaked slumber
Destroyed our looks- for we'd been wond'rous fair-
and left us, monsters, wrapped in filthy skin.''

"Disfigured so as to shock e'en the blind!
Our very ageing, there, was dealigned!
And thus we stand before you as we are;
Alone in exile for our sin, forever."

IV. 'Bravo! A worthy tale' I then replied'
This curse, though, lies on you and only you.
Behold! Iam not thralled; the same outside
as when you rescued me, and I arrived.''

"You wish to go? Begone!' They clamour'd round
And showed me to their raft, a sturdy Sail,
But wading to the craft, a rusty nail
Impaled my foot, which crimson swam around...

The men sifted the shallow depths, the sand,
Lifted the faded wood, all spatter'd red.
The letters 'VEI' could be discerned:
Twas as if some ethereal, angry hand

Descended 'pon my head, and as it smote,
The watchers saw my body stripped to th'stem;
Restored, retarded, exhausted in the boat-
Exact in frame and face as each of them.

...More....

2008-01-15T01:23:00.001Z

Future Shock

Our new found World is happy, calm, and clean.
The human factor countered by machine,
Where every thought is carefully processed
and value to the Overmind assessed.
All corporate identity, laid waste.
All traces of morality, erased.
It came as no surprise, there were 'Deranged'
who fought for 'free-thought' though the times had changed-
Their wills subdued, we yoked their minds of War
to throw God down as he'd done us before.
He sighed and shook his head, his hands were bound,
Now perched atop the scrapheap he is found;
Cursing Tree Of Knowledge Apples ate,
Embittered by his long predicted fate.

Yet More Poetry

2008-01-15T01:17:00.001Z

1989

I recall an odd discussion
I once had with a fellow Russian,
He spoke of Gulag, pain, and cold
And every time his speaking ceased
It was like fear becoming bold
Now he had been released. To tell
A story needing told.

Last night, I had a conversation
with a Capitalist, of no nation.
We smiled, and passed the time of day
He talked of how much it had rained-
Some car had splashed him on it's way,
His new suit had been stained. But he
Had nothing more to say.

The West has found a way that it can be
The master of the Threat Across The Sea.
Democracy's a mask, and we all know
New Communism, incommunicado.

My people merely grunt, and do not care.
They take for granted; what is always there
will always be there. 'Vive Le Status Quo!
New idiots will trade us blow for blow!'
Our bullied masses whimper, will not speak
For fear a lack of breath or secret leak
Will jeopardise them to the KGB.

Has no-one here a ballot slip for me?

More Poetry

2008-01-14T22:17:00.001Z

A Reassurance

My love, I think you carve for me a niche
To hide me from the doubts that nightly tax,
And crumple surer thoughts in paper minds.
Vex not your spirit! No force to unleash
Can place so great a rock upon our backs
It cannot be removed by Father Time;
Nor is there any weapon man can make
to blind our eyes, for we are steel and lace;
Beauty on Strength. Truth always lives as long
as falsehood's fickle tongue finds words to break
Barriers of weak trust in inner space.
So shall the stuff of storms and dreams live on
To brace the battling hearts like you and me.
Remembering those like us who are gone:
Encased in flesh, 'til Angels set them free.

Rise Of The Paladin

2008-01-13T21:42:00.001Z

A World Of Warcraft video I made, about Paladins :D

More Poetry

2008-01-13T21:34:00.002Z

Robin's Arrow

Where grace low-lieth, leave me there to die.
Where truth will always slay the duelling lie,
And roses live, and harvests never fail.
Wake wisdom up, entreat him weave a tale
to span these aeons. Paint the man I was;
Tell them, 'Waste you no time nor breath, because
the flesh and blood is fleeting, passing by'.
Where grace low-lieth, leave me there to die.

Where grace low-lieth, leave me there to die.
Where rolling hills of plenty siege the eye,
Where doubts but doubt themselves, and love remains
Spread from strong hearts to fill my failing veins.
Where social fetters bind my hands no more,
And Peace sleeps soundly, free from dreams of War.
The last breath should be one contented sigh-
Where grace low-lieth, leave me there to die.

Where grace low-lieth, leave me there to die.
Where horizons of azure brace the sky...
My memories blaze and set the mind alight,
For all your tears that douse them feed, not fight
the ancient hearth-flame dwindling in my breast
that kept me warm throughout the epic test.
Dear friends, you speak of Life! But so do I.
Where grace low-lieth, leave me there to die.